have been sooo on and off with posting on all my channels. Not because I stopped loving it. At first it was because I was getting so hung-up and stressed about followers, brand deals, the algorithm instagram... all things that are out of my control.
In my actual career - I am in control, I put in the work, time effort and I get better! I see the reward. That was not happening with my social prescience.
Then I was like fuck that. I started this journey for me, because I enjoyed it. So, let me start over at that point.
Life is a BITCH. A LOT HAS HAPPNED. Some of what has happened ->> 2 Weddings and 2 Deaths
... then more stuff kept happening.
A lot has happened that has taken me out of the hustle, enjoying life mind set. Normally when crazy things happen I put more effort into my work, hobbies, I hustle... This was different. I literally just went into survival, floating through mode. The commute back and forth took so much effort as well. I am not one to zone out and watch t.v. I found myself zoning out and watching t.v. for hours.... Vampire Diaries 7th season vibe.
I also think I have changed a lot because what has happened in my life, it has changed me. I have also been dealing with things internally... coming to terms with a lot about myself, what I want, need, where I want my life to , accepting the changes in my body I can not control. That along with all the external factors, and major life events. It was, is definitely a lot. I know me and the more I take on, the more stressed I get, I get so sick and I am out for weeks. So, I just shut down everything including my jewelry line.
I know from history that I am not good with things I can not control, when I can not fix things, help people, take away their pain, that stresses me. I do take on other peoples pain, I am very empathetic but I also take other peoples problems on as my own. Which is not healthy... because I also have my shit.
I also know that I was not getting the same traction on my social media. Fashion has always been popular on my channels, but I enjoy so much more than that and I want to share that. Even if I do not get 1 view... I know that ruins my algorithm. But people are more than one thing, you know?
My life has also evolved, and I felt very stuck in just posting what people wanted to see and not what I wanted to. Now that things kind of have calmed down I want to get back into unapologetically sharing my life. Life, will always throw things at you, for me it is always pouring, to the point that I felt I was drowning and all these things - blogging, instagram, my jewelry line seemed to be drowning me even more so. It is up to me to take control and do it my way, on my terms so its a source of relief not stress.
So GET READY ! For more home decor, christmas decor, recipes and I want to bring back Shit I say to My Psychologist yall loved that and related to that and I loved to write it helped me to get it all out. And get Ready fOr more Badz spelling and punicpation !
MY FAVOURITES THIS MONTH: