Life Update - why I have been MIA
I feel like I have not had the desire to blog. I have not had any content ideas that I was excited enough about to sit down and blog. Which I hate cause I love to blog, the typing my thoughts, connecting with you guys in the comments!
I think I have just been on auto-pilot. The last 2 years since covid has been weird.
2020 - was the first time my entire family did not do a Christmas eve dinner. We did not see anyone for a year.
2021- I am not in the spirit - which is crazy! I live for the holidays. I love everything about it. I think because last year was meh, not the normal I think that is also why I am not in the mood. My expectations are of 2020 Christmas.
Work, Business, Blogging oh my
I think also I have been busy - full time job, jewelry business and trying to be more present that the blog and Instagram took a back seat. I am honestly not mad about it. I have developed a love hate relationship with Instagram. If you know, you know- they do not give creators a fair shot. I am not stressing anymore about how many people see my content, or how many people it reaches- I feel like its not a battle worth fighting anymore.
I am not saying I am giving up, or not putting effort in- I am just not letting it consume me anymore. I want it to be fun for me again!
Also, my full- time job is so draining. Yes, I love it but you do get crazy customers, the ones that scream at you, curse at you. It is so emotionally draining. You have to be on top of it too, planning kitchens is not easy and then to do it with someone screaming at you. To go to bed just to wake up to do that the next day it takes a toll on you. However, I do get a lot of great customers too! Where they come back to thank me, show me how it turned out- so that is why I do what I do. I try to focus on the good people.
To shop sweet and spicy jewls
To Be Present
Something I have had such a hard time with - I would be with my boyfriend and feel bad I was not with Lola. If I was with Lola I would feel bad I was not with my man enough...
I think I have finally learned to be present and some of that is because I took a little step back from social media. Even with the content I was consuming- Instagram was not showing me content I liked- It was pushing the money making ads, partnerships from people I do not even follow or know.
I think that being with my lola or my man is probably the only times my brain shuts off!
I spend a lot of time working, driving around - work, my neck appointments, errands, to see my man(he moved), dropping off orders etc.. That I do get drained. I hate driving and get so tired, and irritated by people and their irresponsible driving. So, when I have that time with the people I love I try to put that stress, and ughhh feeling to the side. My man is also very great at getting me out of that mood- he knows fooooood.
I have also been watching YouTubers I used to love. I know that is weird, but to sit and watch them while having a coffee has helped me to shut down. I enjoy watching fashion, lifestyle vloggers that not only offer great content but have great values.
I love the relationships they have with their partners too! They are so open and honest, and they all have qualities, morals, ethics that I do. They also have open and honest conversations, especially the Havens.
I Have Changed... And I am Trying to Accept It!
I am not going to go into too much detail but what I have wanted out of life, my relationships with my partner, my friends, my family and what I expect out of my self has changed.
I am realizing what I wanted since I was young has changed. Partly due to the fact that I meet my boyfriend. Not in a bad way, he has opened my eyes to new possibilities, experiences, he has introduced me to new people who I respect. I am realizing that I want to be more open to living in different places, going out more, experiencing life, indulging in peoples company, primarily being less save save save.
Dont get me wrong I will still be smart with my money BUT it will no longer hold me back from living and I wont feel guilty about spending.
I am not easily influenced ... says the influencer haha..
So it kinda scares me that what I want has changed. I will always be career focused but now I am also focused on relationships. Especially the one I have with my man, having honest, real conversations. It is not something I am used to. Talking about the future, trying to figure out what WE WANT. NOT JUST WHAT I WANT.
I always wanted to stay single, career focused and lola focused. Now its a bit of a 180 from that.
Which I am not mad about, its just weird that what I want has changed.
There are so many other things that I once wanted and would stress about that I no longer let it stress me out. I am trying to not let my goals consume me in a negative way. Like buying a home. I have been savingggg for yearssss for that. But it was at the expense of me living my life.
so it is a positive change, but I am just trying to sit with my self more, check in, shut off from the stress of work when I am home- even though I run both my business from home haha..
Also, because I am out so much when I am home and with my family I am really trying to be present and be in their company.
I am starting to realize how there will always be problems, your health is not always going to be great, time is going to pass by - so to enjoy the moments you have and not live in a constant state of stress because your goals are not yet achieved. You will get there and you can do so by still enjoying peoples company and your life.
To lighten up the mood ... here are my MONTHLY FAVS LOL